so. the new twilight barbies have been released. and i don’t know what to say. i am conflicted. on the one hand i didn’t even know twilight dolls existed so it’s not like i was looking forward to this release not that i would look forward to any barbie doll release even if they somehow were able to magically make it look exactly like rob pattinson…
well, i might buy it as a gag gift to myself if it looked exactly like rob pattinson and keep it in my bed under my pillow but i wouldn’t look forward to the release. i would just wait till it was released and then buy it. nonchalantly.
anyway, as i was saying… but on the other hand the doll looks nothing like edward! i mean rob. whatever. same person. edward looks like chris pine with michael jackson’s skin disease wearing rob pattinson’s clothes striking a pose next to barbie after a shopping trip to forever 21.

so i looked up some other twilight dolls.
the next three are edward dolls that are being sold on amazon for $149.99. i like the miniature, life-like clothes but the only thing edward-like on these dolls is the hair. and i wasn’t aware that a doll could give off the presence of such awkward, uncoordinated, dorkiness but what do you know.
constipated-and-not-hot-at-all edward:

williamsburg-hipster-interviewing-for-a-corporate-job edward or
kind-of-cute-corporate-guy-trying-to-dress-hip edward:

if-edward-were-neo-in-the-matrix edward:

butterface edward:

butterface-edward-unbutterfaced-by-the-sunglasses-kind-of-looking-a-lot-like-rob-pattinson edward:

huh-that’s-not-bad-actually edward:
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made-by-a-woman-who-read-all-four-books-in-a-frenzy-after-watching-twilight-the-movie edward:

Tags: rob pattinson, twilight, twilight barbie dolls, twilight dolls
these are just creepy, imo.
YOU’RE creepy.
just kidding. yeah they’re kind of creepy. *shrugs* edward’s smoldering hotness cannot be contained and replicated. you know?
are those fucking ray ban sunglasses btw?
i doubt it. edward wears designer labels. he’s not flashy about it though.
So, if I look dorky and constipated normally, would a Barbie version of me be all uncontrollable smouldering hotness?
the short answer is no. the long answer is yes.
Story of my life
lol. i smell a lunch date coming up.
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